Texas
"....no longer by the circumstances themselves, but my mandate to assess them." marina keegan
trying to write about this weekend had me crossing out line after line in my notebook. trying to articulate how this weekend was refreshing, how time alone, how time with old friends, how time with a new friend, all converged to make for a weekend the was hectic but also the most relaxing i've had in a while. so that is all, and i need to remind myself that sometimes that is all there has to be.
every morning on my way to work i crest a hill by my house, the skyline peaks its head out at me, glowing in the light of the freshly risen sun. i'm filled with an overwhelming sense that everything is going to be GOOD. i'd rather be going somewhere other than work, but seeing a sleepy city just waking up reminds me that we're all in this together. we all struggle, we all triumph, most of us stuck in a line of traffic probably wish we were doing something else. but we are all here and we're all part of it.
i was speaking about this with my friend lauren, she mentioned how familiar that feeling was. how she takes a look in her rearview mirror on the way to work to glance at the sun rising behind the city, "i think that's a little daily reminder that life is bigger than us and that work and heartbreak and hard times are temporary."
temporary. temporary. temporary.
"if you have an emotion, especially negative, FEEL IT, wholly and as painfully as you can. embrace it. if you're sad. BE SAD. and then, let it go. breathe and release it back into where it belongs; not inside of you"
as lauren said above, even though those feelings are temporary that doesn't mean we can't take something beautiful away from them, even if it hurts in the moment. because at the end of the day, it is just that, the end of the day. tomorrow is a new one, a new chance to feel how ever we'd like to feel.
shot on : fuji instax
good times with even better people.
for my twenty seventh birthday i had plans of heading down to the us/mexico border by my lonesome for a little kayak overnighter. on my way to pick up the rental car for the trip i feel my phone buzz, "come out to llano tonight." after an internal back and forth, and another text reading "del rio will always be there, we won't always be in llano." i decided it would be better to spend my birthday with good friends rather than by myself.
this new year was started with a lot of laughs under a bright full moon and a sunrise swim in the llano river. i'm extremely thankful i decided against the solo trip, as i couldn't have asked for a better time with a better group of folks.
i've always thought of myself as a person who liked solitude, and after the divorce i had grand visions of solo road trips and camping under the stars alone. i do still long for that feeling, but as i continue to grow i find that sharing my time with old and new friends helps me better experience the places i go and the things i do.
"happiness is only real when shared." christopher mccandless
shot on : fuji superia 800
good friends and decent waves.
